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Empowering educators to joyfully fulfill their God-given calling
God-Pleasing Leadership in a People-Pleasing World
with Dr. Nicholas Henkle and Derald Glover of Association of Christian Administrators
As administrators, do you feel drained trying to make everyone—teachers, parents, students, your district—happy? People-pleasing in leadership is difficult and often leaves us feeling discouraged. In this session, you’ll discover what godly leadership looks like and how to shift your focus from seeking everyone's approval to leading in a way that honors God and the people you lead.
This session was recorded live at 11:00am EST on Friday, October 17. Please click the button below to jump in the WebinarJam room and watch the replay:
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About Dr. Nicholas Henkle
Nick Henkle is the President of the Association of Christian Administrators and Superintendent of Channahon School District 17 in Illinois, where he has served for the past 11 years. He lives in the Chicago Suburbs with his wife and two daughters. He has been serving in public schools for 22 years as a teacher, coach, principal, and superintendent. He believes that Christians should be running towards public schools, not running away from them, as the world needs Christ's love, grace, and truth.
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About Derald Glover
Derald is in his 40th year of public education in Oklahoma. He has served as a math teacher, coach, assistant principal, administrator at a career tech, and 18 years as a superintendent of schools. He has spent the last seven years working for the Oklahoma Association of School Administrators providing professional development for central office administrators. He served as President of the Association of Christian Administrators (ACA) since its inception in 2014 and is now the past president and board member. He still directs the Oklahoma Chapter of ACA.
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Stand firm in God’s word.
Have Grace.
Prayer~Care~Share!
The comment that keeps replaying in my mind is “Don’t let the mission field become the enemy”. Such a powerful reminder that we are not here to minister only to the lovable but our main purpose is to love like Jesus no matter the person or their circumstance.
This session resonated so hard with me. I have always struggled with people pleasing. I recently had a revelation that it is idolatry and this session just reinforced what God has been showing me and what I need the Holy Spirit to work on in my heart. I really loved how they brought in the “You Are Special” book. I loved this book as a child. I think I need to keep it in the front of my mind on a daily basis. Stars and dots don’t matter. I’m Jesus’s daughter and that’s all that matters. In each situation I need to ask myself – how can I glorify God in this? It’s hard because sometimes I will be told by admin to do something I don’t agree with – I have to decide if it goes against my values and beliefs or if it’s just something I don’t particularly like. I loved that they added actionable steps – Listen, Pray, Respond. Ultimately, praying that the Holy Spirit changes my heart and grows me in this area to be a better coworker and teacher.
Love those students/parents/grandmas, teachers who are difficult/challenging. Remember God loves and created them. Take time to listen to their story/perspective.
Key takeaway– Don’t be the Christian so focused on pleasing people that we forget to please God. When we please men instead, people don’t see Christ in us; they just see us. (As noted by the quote Derald shared from Gandhi)
Realize that as Christians We serve Christ first….. And out of that overflows that we are a willing servant versus a weary servant. Always remember We belong to the Lord!!
Wasn’t able to listen live, but am so thankful for access to the replay. So many great foundational Truth. I’ve been in administation for over 20 years, but only in Christian schools, however, not all our families are Christian, and the struggles are real. Two key thoughts that struck me were – “Know what you are going to do BEFORE climbing the mountain.” I always listen first, but loved the focus on prayer and spirit-led guidance. Another key thought was “It’s a CHOICE to give Grace. How thankful I am for God choosing to give us grace- therefore how must I live that out with students, teachers, and parents. So many other great thoughts. Thanks for the encouragement to leaders.
Great session for all in education. As a teacher who has also held leadership positions in public schools, it is a challenge to stand in a Godly way especially while being persecuted. This was a great reinforcement to stay the course.
I loved the reminder to “remember our ‘why’.” Praying together, finding common ground. Also good to know that you are seeing revival among the students.
I have Bingo.
Kimberlee McCune
In a world that is so often incredible hard on administrators who are working incredibly hard, I’m so thankful that ACA exists. Admin need one another to encourage and lift each other up. They need people who understand the day to day struggles they face too — just like teachers need teachers — and parents need parents — and pastors need pastors. This is a a VITAL ministry and I’m just so thankful for the wisdom that was shared today. I especially appreciated the wisdom that was shared about persecution and hard times. These things are to be EXPECTED and they can be joyful, God-centered times in our lives IF we invite God in – and just ask Him to be our center. It does not have to be a horrifying experience, but rather one to grow!
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am feeling inspired that there is so much joy being spread across the U.S. in a conversation that is hard to have. I have not heard of the 16-9 philosophy prior to today, but I am very interested in it. I can’t wait to see what more I learn this weekend from this summit. I am so happy we have the opportunity to complete these online!
The convicting statement for me was:
“People pleasing is an idolatrous way to live”— it is seeking approval from others instead of living for God’s glory
My notes if anyone else is interested:
People Pleasing, Purpose, and the 16/9 Principal
Key Scripture:
• Proverbs 29:25 — “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”
• Galatians 1:10 — “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? … If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
• 1 Thessalonians 2:4 — “We speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.”
________________________________________People Pleasing: The Hidden Snare
• People pleasing stems from fear and a lack of confidence—both are dismantled when we remember who we are in Christ.
• We are called to serve, not to please. People pleasing leads to weariness, while Christ-centered service leads to joyful perseverance.
• It’s an idolatrous way to live—seeking approval from others instead of living for God’s glory.
• Our focus must remain singularly fixed on the Lord. When it drifts toward people’s opinions, we must pause, reflect, and realign.
“Don’t listen to the audience. Let the opinions of others fall away and be consumed by the presence of God within you.”
________________________________________Abiding and Acting
• Abide in Christ daily so that you can serve and lead with clarity, confidence, and perseverance.
• Keep your purpose your purpose — serve Christ, and through Him, serve kids, teachers, and communities.
• Is it worth it? Of course! Because we are both commanded and compelled to do so.
“Stay bold in your faith, fight the fight, and continue to do it with love.”
________________________________________
Practical Strategies for Escaping the People-Pleasing Trap
Buy Time:
o When faced with pressure, say: “Let me get back to you,” or “I need time to think about that.”
o Buying time allows space to hear, pray, and respond wisely rather than react emotionally.
Stand on Truth:
o Let Scripture and conviction—not convenience—guide your responses.
Seek Wise Counsel:
o You’re not alone. Surround yourself with godly advisors and mentors who will speak truth in love.
Pray:
o Ask the Lord for discernment, humility, and courage in every decision.
Reflect Grace:
o Even when challenged, respond with grace. One day someone may ask why you treated a difficult situation or person with such peace. You may never see the harvest—but the seeds you sow matter.
________________________________________The 16/9 Principal
• To understand 16/9, educators must know both:
o The first 16 words of the First Amendment:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;
or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble,
and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”
o The 9 fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23):
“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Meaning:
• As educators, when we’re on the clock, we wear our “Congress hat”—we cannot encourage or discourage the free exercise of religion.
• When we’re off the clock, we remove that hat—but the Fruit of the Spirit should remain with us always.
• Imagine a faculty full of educators who consistently model love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control — what a testimony that would be!
________________________________________
Art Delgado: “We don’t need secret agents in public schools. We need sacred agents.”
Great notes! Thank you for sharing!
This a a GREAT summary Jen!!
Favorite takeaway: When there are struggles with education, look for the blessings. It’s easy to focus on the negative, but there are so many positives!
I sincerely loved this session. Derald and Nick were phenomenal men of God and Christian Educators. Their Godly advise, experiences, and sincerity for God during their educational journey, were evident in all that was presented. I especially loved that neither expressed that as Christians, there should be a difference in how we interact and respond to public and Christian school children, parents, and staff. Serving out of God’s love and the pedagogy of Jesus, we are sure to achieve the standard that God intended (even if we may not get the opportunity to see it immediately)
I 100% agree! I could have listened to the wisdom they were sharing for a couple more hours (AT LEAST!).
Also, I give 5 stars to the speakers today. Thank you.
The encouragement that comes in being around and hearing in-the-trenches stories from fellow leaders is genuinely moving.
Praying for your Admin is crucial for any organization especially in schools. We all are “Shepherds”, and we want to remind ourselves who we serve! Work heartily for the LORD! Amen
Why has it never dawned on me to do this! So glad to have been given the opportunity to hear this message.
I liked the analogy of the public school to a mission field. I have always felt that as a public school educator. But it can be lonely. Focus on the big picture and start each day going to the Lord. And really allowing the Spirit to live out His fruit in you. Thanks for so much encouragement! Deb
Address all situations with prayer first. Ask for the grace to handle situations in a Christ-like manner and be strong with your core values.
I will take away how God is always put first, no matter the circumstance
I learned about ACA. Christian Educators is a fantastic organization, but it sounds as if ACA is targeting a more specific audience. That is great. Admins are in a fishbowl, but oftentimes it seems as if the water is being poisoned. I am thankful that God supplies the oxygen that is vital to survival. This group might be one of the tubes that carries the oxygen.
I think schools are very similar, no matter the location. It sounds as if the joys and problems are not location specific. This session had some practical applications and advice to help navigate those joys and concerns.
Thank you.
I also had never heard of this before. I am interested in learning more.
You are their leader because you filled the position. They didn’t choose you to be their leader. Build relationships with them. Pull them with you like you would pull a rope, don’t push.
What a great thought of “shepherding” rather than leading. It really gives a different perspective. So many good ideas:
16-9 principle
developing strategies before being in the situation
be a WILLING servant
Thank you so much for the encouragement!!
All of the information and feedback to questions was so good and helpful! Thank you! My biggest take away from this session was that it’s all about being in relationship with Jesus first and being in and building relationship with others – with colleagues, parents, and students.
Truly enjoyed gaining wisdom from these two humble servants. My big takeaways were:
~”GRACE Means they don’t deserve it.” Wow, what a way to enter into tough situations. This goes beyond “kill them with kindness” because the motivation is selflessness modeled by our savior, Jesus Christ.
~I asked about distinctives, and all three leaders provided great advice that I plan to pass along to those I feel would benefit.
Thank you and Soli Deo Gloria!
Thank you so much for such an encouraging and convicting session. It is such a powerful reminder that we are all shepherds and we are servants of God. Removing the victim mindset when things are not easy is truly a cultural mindset shift. Thank you for being the salt and light. Bless all of you!
The mission field of public education needs us. It is easy to lose sight of that.
I put this in the chat, but I am also putting it in here. I am hit with so much teaching at the college level. But I know God put me there for a reason, and I want to be His light. I have been able to share my testimony with many, many students. So, I know I have a purpose, and that is to share God’s love. Sometimes we feel like we are alone in the schools, but we are NEVER alone because God is always with us.
Thank you for the honesty of the struggle, helping establish a plumb line and the importance of the communication among those who believe. Praying for each of you and other fellow administrators as they navigate the world in support of kids and Christ.
Loving People, find commonalities, and the mission field cannot be our enemy. We are commanded to be the difference makers. Stay the Course! Abide in Christ.
I had to jump in and out because of work needs, but I appreciated this. I definitely want to watch it again to get a deeper insight into the heart and mindset about leading in schools – responding, extending grace, etc. I’m finding that there is quite a bit of leading even in a school counselor role.
Mandy, you are right, counselors are on the front lines! You work intimately with students, staff, and parents. What a GREAT opportunity to show Christ’s love as you work through so many struggles students face.
Thank you for driving this point home: We need Christians in public education — public schools are a mission field; the mission field is not the enemy.
Thank you both! That was so uplifting and everything I needed as I make my way through my days.
-If we serve God first, the students will be served better.
-If you stay focused on your true purpose you will be willing not weary.
-Even admin has difficulties with some individuals, not just teachers.
Seek the approval of God, not man. People pleasing makes me weary; God-pleasing gives me energy.
And continue to pray for the people/families/children who may seem challenging!